It's Good To Be Back!
55
I Just Might Be Ready To Get Back To Living...
I've been out of touch for awhile. It's okay. I have just found life a bit busy of late. I was a touch afraid of the holiday season this year. It was the first Christmas that my mother had to endure without my father, and the second holiday season since my daughter died. It always amazes me how we pull through the most difficult of situations, broken hearts and all, deep loss so painful one feels it in every nerve of our bodies; yet we go on.
The holidays are especially difficult as they bring to the surface memories of every person and every wonderful memory of Christmases past. I can't remember taking our tree ornaments out of the storage boxes without remembering the year my grandmother decided to make them. In retirement, she took up various crafts and her lovely, hand-crafted ornaments bring back the most happy memories of her from my childhood.
There was never a tree-decorating family get-together when my son and daughter didn't vi to put their classroom-crafted ornament in plain sight, ready to draw the most attention. As adults, it became a game for one to hide the other's childhood bit of decor, banishing it to the rear side of the tree. It was a loving rivalry and blatantly absent this year.
We did the usual craziness of running from party to friend's party then from my Mother's to Jeff's family's Christmas Eve complete with children, (now my grandchildren and grandnephews) renewing their acquaintances and growing more fond of each other, recognizing their peers among family members and squealing with joy at every wonderful moment.
Then there was the trip to the California Gold country to stay a few days with Jeff's sister and brother-in-law. The children rolled in the snow, attempted to build a snowman and sledded down the driveway having never seen snow before our visit. It was a wild but fabulous time.
We feel the absense of those who have left us but choose to celebrate those here with us. This year, as I watched the joy on my grandchildren's faces, I was struck with the clarity of why we go on to celebrate another holiday season. It is all about loving and being here to be with those we love. It's about making new memories for the future.
We wil always miss those who have left but take consolation in knowing they celebrate with us in another, wonderful place.
Our Tree With Grandma's Oranents & Others
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Thanks, Violet. I'm still trying to catch my breath. I'm going to post some photos of my grandmother's handmade ornaments tomorrow so please check back! She would be pleased!
Of course we always miss our children but we'll be a bit wounded but okay.
Madison
Will check tomorrow. :)
Touching hub,Madison Parker,yes,carrying on is all about 'making new memories for the future'.I dont have words to ease your pain,but then,your positive attitude will surely help you cope with your great losses.
Madison- Hope you continue showering your love on everyone around you. Sometimes for the sake of others we may need to move on and take care of the loved ones around us. Hope you had a great time. Happy New Year.
Hi Madison
Happy New Year to you! The year changes and we grow older and (hopefully!) wiser. It's good to see you back on Hubpages, and I'm envying you your visit in the snow. I'm not a great fan of lingering snowfalls, but I would love to see a couple of days worth just to please the kids, who, now aged ten and thirteen, have yet to experience really snowy weather here in the South of England. It's probably all to do with climate change I guess, as we used to have a week or so of snow most years up until the early nineties.
Great Hub great sharing. i sincerely hope 2009 is wonderful for you!
Hello Madison
I can totally relate to your pain. This year 5 weeks apart I lost both of my parents who were in the prime of their retirement. The pain was heart wrenching and trying to get through the holidays was overwhelming.
The sound of Christmas music playing in the stores was totally to much to handle and left me crying as I ran out of the store. I have never been so happy to see them over.
I know that it will get easier, and I thank you for sharing.
Womenfishing,
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents; and all at once is so difficult. I know what you mean about Christmas music; I resorted to online shopping! I'm taking a deep breath now that the holidays are over but watching my granddaughters at the sight of even Christmas lights was wonderful.
Take care and thank you for reading!
Madison
Laila, good to meet you and thank you, we are doing well these days. Countrywomen, hope your holidays were good and yes, we keep on because there are so many wonderful people who are part of our lives.
Amanda, the little ones were so much fun to watch in the fun! We look forward to teaching them to ski in a year or two.
Sixty, thank you for your kind comments. Good to see you.
I think we all deserve a good 2009!!! Happy New Year, all.
Hi Madison. We woke to a dusting of snow this morning (YIPEE!) It's all melted now but there was just enough to make a few snowballs on the way to school!
A White Christmas a little late's better than never! It is so cold here; very unusual for the central coast of California! Perfect build-a-fire-and-read weather...after work!
Madison
Happy and blessed new year my friend.
May all of your ills bring great blessings to you as you continue the journey of healing.
Warm Regards,Jan
Jan! Good To see you and I do hope your New Year is blessed, as well.
Madison
I feel your "pain" as I read your hub and compassion wells up within me. As you and your family try to move on and live life armed with memories, I share warm hugs and smiles. It takes a lot of courage to go on and not give up. I learn much from your sharing. May the new year bring more healing. Take care...
RM,
Thank you for your kind words but I don't feel at all courageous. You just put one foot in front of the other and thank God that I have a loving family surrounding me. I do hope that the articles on "grief" help others to recognize the stages so that they can better deal with their own loss.
I am moving toward writing more "happy hubs" this year! Thank you again for being here when things were tough! I so appreciate my hub friends. I also want to say that my real belief that the soul moves on to different levels and that our life doesn't really end here, at all, has helped enormously. I just read Lisa Williams' book, "Life among the Dead." A good read and very interesting.
Bless you and your family in this new year and thank you again for your kind words.
Madison
I am so sorry for your loss and I am sure that sharing your experiences of this loss will be a great help to others who are also struggling with their own losses.
Some good reads on spirituality
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VioletSun Level 5 Commenter 3 years ago
Madison: Welcome back! I was wondering what you were up to as I hand't seen you in hub pages.
My sister spent Christmas overseas with family after 15 years of not visiting; better for her emotionally than staying home alone and missing her son, and yes, I agree, its amazing how resilent the spirit can be, even if we will always miss our children.
Happy New Year to you, and good to have you back. :)